Today is my 28th birthday. It's 3am on a thursday nite/friday morning. My girls are in bed sleeping. Nothing to do.
I'm 28 today. And I find myself thinking about the age old adage. Is the glass half full or half empty. I'm blessed in many ways. I'm a son, brother, uncle, husband, father and friend to many.
But taking that adage to another level. Age, is 30 the halfway point? Is it? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. Is my life half over or is my life really just beginning? My wife and I just started our life together not that long ago. Two kids now, a house and all that wonderful stuff.
I realize that time is irrelevant. Time is made up. In reality there is no such thing as a second or an hour or a year. It's a man made measurement. We use it to set order to life. Time rules everything. We, as humans, are taught early on to not be late. Be on time. Age should therefore be irrelevant too. Yes, I have been alive to 28 passes of the earth around the sun. Time doesn't exist, and age doesn't either.
Back to topic though, is my life half over or just beginning? Rhetorical question. I guess either way it's out of my control. And maybe that is what is really on my mind. Maybe it's time's way of slapping me in the face. That good old wake up call. Saying eventually it's going to end.
Facing our own mortality is something we all must face. But still there is a bigger picture. Cause obviously the glass is both. It can't be either or. The glass is half empty. I'm nearing the halfway point. It sucks, yes. But the glass is also half full. My life has just started. I see my girls get bigger everyday. Get a little older a little smarter. I wait with anxious anticipation for what's in store for them and us as a family.
But today for some reason it's finally hit me. That I'm not going to see the end to their life stories. As parents, the clock doesn't stop for us to just keep watching and waiting. There's nothing I can do. I have no control over it. Never did. And perhaps THAT, too, is the lingering sting after the slap.
Time. It doesn't exist yet you can't run from it or hide from it. No one will ever be able to escape it. While it is depressing, nothing will ever be able to reverse the question. My glass is both, and for the time being I'll look at it as "I still got some left, not much, but enough."